Today was not Sunny in Philadelphia

Dream 10/10/09

It was wintertime in the bay area of my dreams. In this long rambling dream I had last night, my memory does not serve me well until the part where I, along with the cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (mainly Sweet Dee, Dennis, Charlie and Mac), for one reason or another, hiked up into a derelict township up on a hill overlooking the bay. I believe this might have been some sort of weekend retreat.

At first just Dennis, Dee and I trekked up the hill (wow, this almost looks like Yosemite Valley I thought to myself, but it’s more accurately somewhere above Hayward). We walked up several flights of stair of an old hotel where we would be staying for the weekend. The hotel was all bare concrete and lots of dust, like most buildings in this township, and the only beds were raised concrete slabs. There was certainly no glass on the windows. We took off our shoes and got comfortable, though it’s hard to get comfortable when it’s winter and you’re exposed to the elements, and there is really nothing comfortable to sit on.

Shortly Mac and Dennis arrived, though I probably won’t mention them after this because they were in the background of this dream. I remember that Dennis and Dee had some weird sort of incestuous relationship going on. Dennis was very amiable to Sweet Dee, unlike in the show. I’m not sure what the incestuousness was about, I mean, this isn’t a dream with the cast of Arrested Development ;).

We went up on the roof of the hotel, and the smell of war was upon us. A deep growling noise got closer and closer until finally a group of helicopters and fighter jets blasted over the eastern ridge and began circling the township. Printed neatly on the gray bodies of the airborne monsters were three black letters, all caps: DEA.

Although we knew that these fuckers were here to intimidate, we were not immediately thinking that we were in danger. I figured that some friendly pot growers were inhabiting the derelict settlement and the DEA was just trying to instill some fear in their pot-addled minds, showing them who’s in charge, and more importantly, who has Zombie Jesus on their side.

When the bombs began to drop, it was followed by a moment of disbelief, and then close behind the knowledge that our lives were in danger. For some reason we did not flee, but watched the destruction. I have had many dream about bombs dropping from an overead aircraft, and I must say that it is the most terrifying thing I ever see in my dreams. You hear the whistle of the dropping object and are painfully aware of the extreme power that is about to be upon you.

One explosion blasted a building a few blocks away to our east. We could feel the energy wave as it blasted past our location, vibrating the shit out of the building we were perched upon. In fact only two big explosions were seen in this round of attacks, huge and terrifying nonetheless. We were unharmed.

My memory gets real hazy after this. I’m not sure if there was some sort of amnesiactic solution in the bombs, or if it’s just the nature of dreams, but next thing I know I’m back on top of the hotel and Quinn is there. Now the township is somewhat of a tourist destination, like Alcatraz. There are gift shops and shitty restaurant in the alleyways that have appeared on this hotel roof. There is also a beautiful view of the entire bay as you walk out towards the western end of the roof, although it was a bit sullied by the scores of tourists yelling and screaming and running around like a bunch of fucking dumbfounded Nazi bastards. Oh well. They were pleasantly unaware that it was their money, their votes, and their downright selfish idiocy that caused these DEA aircraft to bomb the living life out of a few “hippies” and torch their livelihoods. Let them rest in their ignorance, I thought.

Then things just fade to black and I wake up in my boring life where shit doesn’t get bombed all the time. Happy Saturday, and remember that Columbus day is Monday. Without his dumb ass, none of us would be here to witness the destruction of all that is holy.